You are currently browsing the Blog weblog archives for July, 2006.
- Audits (13)
- Bankruptcy (1)
- Bookkeeping and Accounting (1)
- Dan Jokes (46)
- HST Into (4)
- Letters To The Editor (8)
- Rants (1)
- Tax Tips (65)
- Tax Tips For Real Estate (4)
- Tax Topics (153)
- TFSA TaxFreeSavingsAccount (2)
- The Law in Canada (4)
- The Tax System (5)
- Uncategorized (3)
- August 31, 2010: The Critical Info on Statute Barred Years
- August 26, 2010: Flat Tax or Simplified Tax?
- August 24, 2010: Avoid the transferring of property tax trap.
- August 16, 2010: “CRA versus the People of Canada.”
- August 11, 2010: Charge against pro-lifer stayed
- August 6, 2010: Royal Bank Teams Up With CRA Collections.
- June 29, 2010: Help, What to do about; CRA Collections is ruining Canadian Businesses!
- June 21, 2010: CRA Behaviour is under attack... Canadians are getting outraged.
- June 18, 2010: Defense against Tax Penalties using due diligence under common law.
- June 16, 2010: Rental Expenses, paying your children.
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Archive for July 2006
Trafic tickets are tax deductible.
July 17, 2006 by Dan White.
A traffic or parking ticket incurred while doing business is tax deductible. Make sure you record the expense where the expense is not prorated as partially personal. If you don’t know how, consult your tax strategist.
Posted in Tax Tips | Print | No Comments »
The Classic ‘Microsoft GM Car’
July 17, 2006 by Dan White.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo MDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed an Illegal
Operation” warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
Posted in Dan Jokes | Print | No Comments »
What category to put your expenses in…
July 14, 2006 by Dan White.
Tax Tip
When you record the business explanation for expenses on your receipts, pick a category for that expense and try to be consistent. It is a lot easier to do the book keeping when all expense categories are consistent. It is not so important what you call the category… eg you could call the category “Fudge Expenses,” because it is not the category that makes it deductible, any reasonable expense can be written off. Your tax preparer can either rename the category or create a category in your business activities portion of your tax return.
Dan White
Posted in Tax Tips | Print | No Comments »
That Darn Cat!
July 14, 2006 by Dan White.
You don’t have to own a cat to appreciate this one… (Actually cats own people)
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They
turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine,
covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi
arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries
to eat the bird The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes
inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn’t want the driver to know the house
will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her husband
will be out soon. “He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.”Sorry I took so
long,” he says as they drive away. “Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.
Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass
down-stairs and threw her out into the back yard!”
The cabdriver hit a parked car…
Posted in Dan Jokes | Print | No Comments »
What to write on receipts
July 13, 2006 by Dan White.
Look at a receipt as a written record of why the expense is tax deductable. The receipt needs to have a short story about why the expense was business related.
For example; Coffee shop receipt…
Category = Business Meeting.
Who = John Doe, buyer for ABC Co.
Purpose = To discuss getting more business, I need to submit a quote now…
(include tips in your total shown on receipt)
Posted in Tax Tips | Print | No Comments »
How to install a new husband on your computer
July 13, 2006 by Dan White.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0, and noticed
a distinct slow-down in overall system performance - particularly in
the Flower and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, MLB 3.0, NBA 4..0,
NASCAR 4.2 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
********************************************************************
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command:
“http//www.I-Thought-You-Loved-Me.com” and try to download Tears
6.2, and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of
the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program
that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT
install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will
eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is
an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary,
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory, and cannot
learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional
software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food
3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Posted in Dan Jokes | Print | No Comments »
Saving Thermal Paper Receipts
July 11, 2006 by Dan White.
When you get a thermal paper receipt, be sure to make a photo copy of it, or record it in your bookkeeping systems with all the details. The paper fades and CRA will not accept blank paper as a receipt.
Posted in Tax Tips | Print | No Comments »
Business Plan
July 11, 2006 by Dan White.
BUSINESS PLAN
Schwartz says “OK, I’ll put in 5 million.”
Cohen says he’ll put in 10 million.
Ginsburg says “I’ll put in 50 grand .”
Cohen says “If I’m putting in 10 million, I’ll be President. Schwartz, for
your 5 million you can be Vice President. And Ginsburg, for your 50K you
will be our Sexual Adviser”.
Ginsburg says, “What is a Sexual Adviser?”
Cohen replies, “If we want your f’n advice, we’ll ask”.
Posted in Dan Jokes | Print | No Comments »