A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 

“I almost had an affair with another woman.”

The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?”

The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but 

then I stopped.”

The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re

not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail  Mary’s

and put $50 in the poor box.”

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked 

over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to 

leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 

“I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”

The Irishman replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and

according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”