July 31, 2007 by Dan White.

Hi Craig, You need to put together a package that goes like this….

Hi Dan,

This is CRA.

Prove to me that Craig and Jay spend all that money on travel, especially the trip to China and India.  Signed ….

CRA Auditor.

___________________ 

Dear CRA Auditor,

Thank you for you inquiry. As you know we are always happy to speak to you guys… Why with out you, we would have no roads or schools and we would have all kinds of unemployed CRA staff. In respect to our client Craig. (Who by the way is the salt of the earth. You could not meet a nicer guy. His son Jay is a chip off the old block and rumour has it that he is a very talented TV Dude.) 

As you are aware in places like China and India things work largely on Cash.  Please find copies of bank withdrawals, totalling the sum of… $10,000.00 That was the money withdrawn to take the trip. Note the deposit of 38 cents made to their petty cash box on their return from their business trip. That would work out as follows.

What we have receipts for…. Taxi fares to airport and back. $100

Airplane tickets $6,000 Total we have receipts for is $6,100 leaving a difference of $3,900.

Minus cash left over of 38 cents leaves an amount of $3,899.62 as money that was spent in things like taxis, rickshaws, cafe’s hotels, tips, room service.  Being gone for fifteen days means we spent in cash $259.97 per day. This is well within the industry norm for travel expenses. We trust that you will find this to your satisfaction and acceptable as proof of the expenditures. 

Should you fail to accept this as evidence of the expenses we will be forced to exercise our very considerable options.  Best Regards 

Dan White  CRA Busters. 

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July 19, 2007 by Dan White.

A Death

My Private Part Died Today!

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living

the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. 

Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

“Yes, Nurse Tracy ,” said Mr. Wallace,

“My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.”

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wallace, please accept my condolences.”

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.

“Mr. Wallace,” she said, “you shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.”

But, Nurse Tracy,” replied Mr. Wallace,

” I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.”

“Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?”

You gotta love this  … 

“Well, he replied, ‘Today’s the viewing

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July 19, 2007 by Dan White.

Victoria’s Secret

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie
for his wife.  He is shown several possibilities that range from $250
to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price.  He opts for the
sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. 
 
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for
him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea.  It’s so sheer that it
might as well be nothing.  I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modeling
Naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself”. 
 
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. 
Her husband says, “Good Lord!
You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.
 
Funeral on Friday.

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