July 19, 2007 by Dan White.

A Death

My Private Part Died Today!

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living

the last of his life in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. 

Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.

“Yes, Nurse Tracy ,” said Mr. Wallace,

“My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.”

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wallace, please accept my condolences.”

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.

“Mr. Wallace,” she said, “you shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.”

But, Nurse Tracy,” replied Mr. Wallace,

” I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.”

“Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?”

You gotta love this  … 

“Well, he replied, ‘Today’s the viewing

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July 19, 2007 by Dan White.

Victoria’s Secret

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie
for his wife.  He is shown several possibilities that range from $250
to $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price.  He opts for the
sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. 
 
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for
him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, “I have an idea.  It’s so sheer that it
might as well be nothing.  I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modeling
Naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself”. 
 
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. 
Her husband says, “Good Lord!
You’d think that for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.
 
Funeral on Friday.

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