Dog Diet

September 25, 2007 by Dan White.

I was in Wall-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, and was in
line to check out.  The woman behind  me asked if I had a dog……
Duh!!  I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse,  I told her NO.  I was
starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because
I’d ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I’d lost 50 lbs.
before I’d awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out
most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.

   
  Her eyes bugged out of her head.  I went on with the bogus diet story
and she was totally buying it.  I told her that it was an easy,
inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or
purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two you feel
hungry.  The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was
going to try it again.   

  I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was now
enthralled with my story, particularly the tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital.  I said no…. I’d been sitting
in the middle of the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
   
  I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have to be carried
out…. 

Signed

Anonymous

Posted in Dan Jokes | Print | No Comments »