Rant about CRA and the Animal Kingdom

June 9, 2008 by Dan White.

This is how I see the Analogy of the Animial Tax Kingdom

INSERT: When I am knocking accountants, I am really knocking the timid ones and and they accounting profession for being fear mongers. There are good accountants out there, and naturally no one complains about them, so I just get do deal with the results of the bad ones.

There are good accountants and bad accountants. The challenge is how to find the good ones. I suggest that if they resonate fear and they don’t have you in a fearless audit readyness, then you are not being serviced properly. If you live in taxman fear, why do you need your accountant? You can live in fear without their help. Or you can take charge and do something about it.

Now at the moment, I am particularly annoyed by the Certified General Accountants ads about how they have trademarked the name “Creative Accounting” so that only they can use it. They use the guise that if it is not a CGA giving the advice then it is a wink wink nudge nudge piece of advice. What kind of crap is that? I’ll tell you what kind of crap it is; it is them being afraid that they are losing business to consultants and non licenced accountants who do not live in fear of the tax man. Having an accountant’s license does not mean you are going to get good advice. How dare they suggest that if you don’t go to a CGA you will get bad advice. So if any accountant dares to challenge my assertions that THEY ARE SAYING THAT CONSULTANTS AND NON LICENSED ACCOUNTANTS ONLY GIVE SHADY ADVICE! So if they can knock, they can therefore also can be knocked. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Tim!, Tim Who? Tim Id.

Let me see here; an accountant graduates from their courses, walks out the door into the business world, the water dripping water off from behind their ears, and they are going to give you sound advice? They usually don’t know anything about the real world when they first graduate. They need to get out there and grow a few grey hairs before they start suggesting they are the answer to today’s business.

Most accountants do not prepare books in an audit ready format. Most accountants spread the fear of the tax man. Frankly they do business from the corner of fear of which they have a reason to be afraid. The taxman can make their life hell and even ruin their business.

CRA has forced the accountants across the land to become defacto tax generators for CRA. Going into a licensed accounting firm for help with a Tax Issue is akin to a chicken looking for scraps in a fox hole.

Dan’s Nature’s view and analogy of the Natural Kingdom of Taxes. (NKOT).

Foxes den up in former skunk dens, because it stinks in there and keeps out the other predators.

CRA is the skunk. Most animals can’t stand the smell, so avoid them. Except for foxes who know the smell of skunks keeps other predators away from their babies. The smell of a skunk is much worse than anything a skunk can do to you. If you know how to deal with a skunk they are a pussy cat.

Accountants are the foxes. Foxes need to eat, but they run from a fight. They just take the easy pickings.

The lawyers are the cougars; they are fierce fighters, good to have on your side. They don’t live in fear and know to play a low profile and are deadly when they attack. You need to be friends with them.

The consultants are the wolves; they are wary wise and wicked when crosses. They step back and watch the forest from the top of the hill. They are cunning and almost impossible to catch or kill. You can get wise counsel from a wolf. A wolf will only attack when it knows the odds are on its side.

The population is comprised of rabbits, chickens, Guinea hens, racoons, and wolverines.

Depending on what animal the citizen is will determine the relationship to the skunks, wolves and wolverines and how it survives.

The rabbit; Always food for all the animals… always running away from everything. Not much time for procreation, so it has to be quick. It lives to not lose. Rabbits always end up being eaten by someone and is often eaten alive.

The Chicken; The chicken is a dumb animal that is easy prey. It lives to not lose, it lives to eat and procreate. Chickens get eaten by everyone and blames others for their misfortunes. Living to not lose always ends up as a loss…. sooner or later.

The Guinea Hen; It lives to have fun; it is wiry, screams bloody murder when any predator comes near… Predators tend to leave guinea hens alone as predators don’t like the screaming spotlight on them. Guinea hens live to win. They eat, laugh, take all kinds of time to play and procreate. The only time they are not in a hurry is when they are not doing anything, which is often.

The racoon; they are wiry, resilient, huge population that is not that no one notices exists, they live to live and most predators, consider them not good to attack or eat.

The Wolf; the lone wolf is the survivor of the wilderness, it is tough and wise, it stands along it fights wisely for survival. It knows to pack up in hard times or for taking on bigger prey.

The wolverines; The remote few who dare to tango with the temper of the tenacious wolverine, live to regret the day they dared, if they survive to live at all.

Even the grizzly bear will back off from a wolverine. The Wolverine is the quiet king of the forest. They are rarely seen and no one hunts them. What a wolverine wants, a wolverine gets. When the Wolverine fights, losing is not an option.

The wolverine does not try to destroy the enemy, unless it is hungry. It just teaches its foes a lesson that will never be forgotten.

The wolverine is in the skunk family, it is the King of the Skunks. It sprays its food with monstrous mighty musk that carries a stern warning; “Don’t muck around with menacing musked mangler.” The only thing worse than the smell of a wolverine, is the results of tangling with one.

LONG LIVE THE WOLVERINEs, The Guinea Hens, Racoons and LONG LIVE THE WOLVES!

In order to survive CRA and live a peaceful life, we need to be a successful survivor, we all need to learn to stand up for our rights.

You need to choose your animals wisely. Be the one that serves you best and align yourself with those who play to win.

So says I.

Best Regards

Dan The Silver Wolf

Posted in Tax Topics, The Tax System | Print | No Comments »